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What have we become?

Risen in the night,
when our world collides.
Taking pills to survive,
afraid to get caught on the riptide.
Desperate for that need of attention,
falling in love with loneliness.
Making us scream with desperation,
waking up motionless.
Our purpose in life we don’t know,
discovering the future is terrifying enough,
and yet we never seem to get enough.

Who am I?

Waking up is so difficult.
Not just because the bed is comfy,
of because I went to sleep late last night,
is more the lack of motivation that I have to live a next day.
Do you know how hard it is to go to school each day,
and not know what are you doing there?
Wondering what the fuck are you doing with your life.
Do you know how hard it is to actually go outside and plaster a
fake smile on your face just because you don’t want people constantly
asking you the same question? “Are you okay?…”
Your answer is always yes, so I don’t know why they bother to ask,
when in reality no one cares.
Don’t get me wrong, I love life, and everyone in it,
it’s just that sometimes it is not enough.
Just let me be, things are not the way they used to be,
people only look for me when they need me,
but when I need them, they disappear.
I’ll live another day,
another day of fake smiles, fake laughs, and just a fake life,
because if not, then who am I?

Scrabble Thoughts Pt. 3

This is part 3 of my crazy thoughts. They are just some crazy things I come up while I am working, sometimes they pop-up in my head while I am walking, or even when I’m reading. But they usually come to me when I’m alone at work. They are like these  internal conversations that I have with myself, I call them  scrabble thoughts. They can be called quotes, sentences, poems, or anything that makes more sense to you. These are the one I came up with today:

  1. I want to go back to sleeping normal again.

  2. Are you scared? Or are you not ready? There’s a difference.

  3. I feel lost inside myself.

  4. What would it feel like to kill someone without feeling guilty? How about if that someone is me?

  5. Nothing, I feel nothing. And yet, I can’t help but notice everything.

  6. Why does being human hurts? I s like we are on an every day battle, fighting for survival.

  7. He didn’t smile. I don’t think he ever would again. I wish I could see his smile one more time. Just once more.

That’s is for today. Thank you for reading. Once again, please feel free to use these for anything you’ll like. Have a nice day.

Fear

Fear is what prevent us from doing something,
but at the same time, pushes us to do it.
I am afraid of falling, play some stupid trick
and I be foolish enough to fall.
I am afraid to pursue my dreams.
Fear of what people might say, fear of my family
not accepting me as who I am.
Fear of not finding the love of my life,
afraid to make the right decision,
and that decision take me to fail.
I am afraid of being accepted,
afraid of being rejected.
Fear of getting lost and never finding my way back.
Fear of believing that tomorrow exist.
I am afraid of flying and that my wings bailed out on me.
I am afraid of falling in love.
I fear life, and I fear that I’m not living it the way I’m
supposed to.
I fear with all my heart, that I’ll die tomorrow, and
that no will care.

Scrabble Thoughts Part 2

This is going to follow the same flow as the first post. These thoughts come up to me when I ‘m working alone. My brain has this wide imagination that knows no limits. Feel free to use them anyway you want to, if you want to continue them, add a short quote to it, or even write something about it, it is okay with me. These are the ones that I came up with today:

  • And I know is stupid because I’d never even talked to him and now I feel as if my heart would break apart in a tiny million pieces, and he left them all for me to  pick up.
  • It blew in front of my face and it hurt. It was stupid considering I didn’t know the guy; but is the same thing when you see an accident happen, you hurt for the person in the accident. Well, so did I–not for him though, for me.
  • Do you think a person like me deserves a happy ending?
  • None of it matters because in the end none of the goodness in my heart would go through your eyes; if I don’t have a nice body or a beautiful face, why would what is in my heart matter?–You wouldn’t notice anyways.
  • You know how in movies life plays you? As in it makes it seem ad if life is holding you by the hand and if you fall, life would catch you and won’t let you down? Well in real life, things don’t work that way. If you fall, life would probably fall with you. Is all up to you; learn to get up by yourself because life ain’t got no hand to pick you up if you go down.
  • Sometimes we are like roaches. Creeping between the cracks of dirt and darkness. Crawling through the floor, emerging from the rot and decay, just to be fulfilled by more ugliness and to be rejected by people.
  • I feel so good I could kill someone, but in a good way, you know?
  • All this fame and success and all of these things you call happiness won’t last long if you don’t find someone to share it with.

Well, that’s it for today. Once again, please feel free to do whatever you want with these thoughts. I hope that you can identify with one of these, at least. Thank you for reading. Have a nice day!

Scrabble Thoughts

This is part 1 of my crazy thoughts. They are just some crazy things I come up while I am working, sometimes they pop-up in my head while I am walking, or even when I’m reading. But they usually come to me when I’m alone at work. They are like these  internal conversations that I have with myself, I call them  scrabble thoughts. They can be called quotes, sentences, poems, or anything that makes more sense to you. These are the one I came up with today:

  1. Nothing matters more to me than not doing what’s important… What I feel is right inside me.
  2. I want him to say what’s in his heart always.
  3. Nothing is stopping you from telling me the truth. If you haven’t said anything is because you are afraid of the outcome. If so, please save it. It’ll do more damage than good.
  4. Be the you you want to be, not the you people want to see.
  5. Is not like suddenly you are going to look at me and say something like, “Wow, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Right? So let me imagine it in my head.  Make it something real in there, because right now imagination is all I have.
  6. And the men I don’t like are the men who come to me. Could life be more selfish?
  7. The sexy thing he does with his lips! It drives me crazy. I learned his name today. Mac.
  8. I don’t give two fucks about what you think! I’m done caring for people who don’t care about me.

That’s it for today. I know they are many, but as I said before, they come alive inside my head whenever they want to. I can’t control these thoughts, so I just learned to let them be. I hope you can find one that appeals to you, or something that you recognize yourself with and hopefully you can stick to it, and maybe not feel alone. Or just have fun with them. You can continue them if you like. Make a short-story out of them, or even a song, or add another thought to it. I think that will be cool. I don’t mind.